untitled
what have you wrought?
a black cloud of betrayal as perceptions writhe.
once we drank of paradise,
virginal and childlike,
but your desire soured.
a painful pool of bitterness -
tears follow bone, follow blood,
love ground to dust.
in a storm of hatred,
i condemn you.
a black cloud of betrayal as perceptions writhe.
once we drank of paradise,
virginal and childlike,
but your desire soured.
a painful pool of bitterness -
tears follow bone, follow blood,
love ground to dust.
in a storm of hatred,
i condemn you.
I chose words with "harsh" phonemes such as "p" and "b" to characterize the vitriolic tone of my poem. This is evidenced with the "black cloud of betrayal" (l. 2) and the "painful pool of bitterness" (l. 6). Additional tone words to describe my poem are acrimonious, acerbic, inflammatory, and condemnatory. I'm trying to evoke the mood of one incensed by betrayal. Binary opposites in my piece are the corruption of betrayal and the purity of virginity, the liquid of the pool and the dryness of the dust, love and hatred, as well as the black cloud and paradise.
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